Dear self, I wondered if you could take a few minutes out of your completely unbusy schedule to answer some questions for your would be readers?
Im game for that, go ahead.
What are you doing right now?
Im answering your questions. I thought that was obvious.
We meant more generally.
How many are there of you? I cant say I even see one person, as this is a sort of spooky inside-your-head conversation , and giving you a body would be a bit much, dont you think?
We are the mass collective of your memories, fantasies and ambitions.
Good for you. What was the question again?
What, in general, are your actions currently, aside from attending this interview?
Is it an interview?
If you like.
If you're the inside of my head, should you have to ask?
You are confusing the issue, Madam.
tsk. Well currently I am sat in front of my pc, Im uploading a vid unto youtube, and CSI Vegas has just popped up on tele. Im pondering dinner, because stew sounds nice.
What sort of pc is it?
Who bloody cares?
The collective cares.
Rubbish, a collective doesnt have feelings.
Yes we do.
Oh yeah? What are you doing for Valentines day then? Hmm?
...we ....cannot answer your question.
And why is that, hmm?
What is your favourite colour?
Blue, silver, black, red, plastic colour, sky colour, banana colour. Answer the question.
Does not compute. We do however believe that banana colour is not an appropriate answer.
So?
Nor is plastic colour.
That is because you are a mass collective of human drama, fantasy and mental illness. You should be so lucky as to have original thoughts and feelings of your own. If you had, you would be able to realise the subtle beauty in a piece of plastic, or warm textures that make up the colour of a banana. So nur.
We feel very small.
Rightly so. Next question.
Do you believe in God?
..Oh bugger.
TBC...
